Searching: Jokes about atheists…

Just a short thing I notice sometimes: It is quite easy to make jokes about religions – ridiculous easy, because religions are have many facets that are likely to provoke laughter when thinking about them, especially if you’re not a member of this specific religion. And I know many religious people who can laugh about their religion – not all of them are like Jorge of Burgos.

But, and that’s my point: I don’t know any really good jokes about atheists. Is it, because the only thing that atheists do is not to believe in god, which makes it hard to joke about them? Of course, we all know the lame jokes, that are just a variant of „and the atheist was wrong, god exists, bla bla bla“, but really creative ones? I don’t know any. But I would like to know. Honestly, give me good jokes about atheists and I’m the first one to tell them – to other atheists and believers alike. I don’t mind if someone laughs about me – and I also like to laugh about myself, just to remember myself, that I shouldn’t take anything – including myself – too seriously.

So, if you have good atheists jokes… Please, share them. Thanks.

8 Kommentare zu “Searching: Jokes about atheists…

  1. There was a picture of an atheist having sex and shouting „Yeah, logic, maths!“

    I guess it was supposed to be a joke, but I didn’t regard it as a joke in the slightest seeing as to me it contained no humorous value whatsoever, but for some reason it got tons of like on Facebook and lots of religious people commenting positively. Whatever floats your boat I suppose.

    • I liked that one, short, to the point (albeit more a pun, of course). The kitten one is a typical „…is an idiot“ (which I don’t think funny even if about religious persons) and the genie one doesn’t make much sense, sorry 🙂 But thanks for trying.

  2. An atheist buys a lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears and says, „I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.“ The atheist says, „I wish I could believe in you.“ The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, „Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.“ The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. „What about your third wish?“ asks the genie. „Well,“ says the atheist, „I wish for a billion dollars.“ The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. „What’s wrong?“ asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, „Your belief does not make me real.“

    Hmm. OK. You asked for clever jokes, and I’m failing you there.

  3. A man sees a boy with a box of kittens The man goes over and says „Oh what cute kittens!“ The boy replies „Yes they are Christian kittens“. About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says „my, those are just adorable!“ The boy replies „Yes, they are atheist kittens“ The man asks „wait, weren’t they christian before?“ The boy looks at the man and says „Yeah but they have their eyes open now“

    Of course, I’d swap out the terms for my tastes, but I thought you’d appreciate it better the way it was.

    I stole this (modified) from:

    • If atheism was a job, then I should also be paid for not playing soccer professionally or for not creating nice paintings. For those atheists, who do engage in discussions, the main reason for doing so is not god, but religion and believers, who do exist (I could write „unfortunately“, but that would imply that the existence of these people is unfortunate, which it isn’t, just the existence of religion, imho). As long as believers exist, atheists have enough to discuss, without any need for bringing god into this (which is probably as well, as, ironically, for most religions, god suddenly really doing something would be the worst case scenario which most of them would probably not survive).

      But at least you’re right in one point: If I found god lying in the street, dying, I would start CPR to make sure he stays alive. But honestly, I would do the same thing for Harry Potter (and I can honestly claim that I have never in my whole life beaten up a fictional character from a badly written book, which is probably a good thing for Harry Potter).

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